hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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