Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
