If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
