I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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