my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
