Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
