If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
