I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
