Don't you send me to vm
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
