it hurts more in the daytime
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
