What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
