9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
