I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
