every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
