He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Can Purell be used as lube?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
