Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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