when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
