omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
