Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
