I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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