Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
