I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
