why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
