and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
