The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
