yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
