like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
