There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
