# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
so much tequila, so little girl.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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