The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
