You just made me feel so damn special
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
