hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize