You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just pynch a tree in the face
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
