If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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