He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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