The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
