You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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