i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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