Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
