try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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