we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
