She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
