i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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