Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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