his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
