So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
