Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
