Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
