I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
false alarm, still single
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
