ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
