From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize