is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
