Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
