Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
