Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
