As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
