We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
