Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
