Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Are we in a gay sports bar?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she smelled like a LAN party
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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