why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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