he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
